Online Dating: First Date Do’s and Don’ts

So, you’ve met someone interesting online and now it’s time for the all-important first date. It’s exciting, but let’s be real—first dates can also bring on a wave of nerves. You want to make a good impression, enjoy yourself, and hopefully land that second date, but what should you do (and not do) to make that happen?

Here’s a helpful list of first date do’s and don’ts to keep in mind, ensuring your date is as smooth and enjoyable as possible.

1. DO Speak Up

If your date suggests something that doesn’t work for you—like sushi when you hate fish, or cocktails when you don’t drink—say something early on. There’s nothing worse than sitting through a meal you won’t eat or an evening you’re not comfortable with. Be polite but direct. It’s better to speak up from the start than wait until the awkward moment when you’re already seated.

Equally important is being decisive. If your date asks what you’d like to eat or where to go next, try to avoid the dreaded “I don’t care, what do you want?” routine. Expressing your preferences shows confidence, which is always attractive.

2. DON’T Wear Uncomfortable Clothes

Yes, you want to look your best, but don’t sacrifice comfort for style. Wearing brand-new heels that give you blisters or a dress you can barely sit in is only going to make you more anxious. Pick an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfortable. That way, you can focus on your date, not your aching feet or tight waistband.

3. DO Be On Time

Being punctual is a simple but powerful way to make a good first impression. No one enjoys waiting for someone they’ve never met before. Showing up on time shows respect and sets the tone for the rest of the evening. Sure, the “fashionably late” thing might work for parties, but on a first date, it’s best to be prompt.

4. DON’T Drink Too Much

A drink or two can help loosen the mood and calm your nerves, but be mindful of your limits. Overdoing it on alcohol can quickly turn a fun date into a messy one. No one wants to be the person slurring their words or, worse, needing help getting home from someone they just met. Stay in control so you can enjoy the date and make a clear-headed impression.

5. DON’T Obsess Over Your Appearance

Once you’ve left the house, let go of the urge to check your reflection every five minutes. There’s no need to run to the bathroom to fix your hair or touch up your makeup every half hour. You’ve already made a great effort to look your best before leaving, so now you can focus on making great conversation rather than worrying about how you look. Relax and enjoy the moment.

6. DO Put Your Phone Away

This might be the most important tip of all—keep your phone out of sight. Constantly checking your messages or social media during a date is rude and can make your date feel unimportant. Show them that you’re engaged and interested by giving them your full attention. Scrolling through Instagram can wait until after the date.

And as tempting as it may be, definitely avoid live-tweeting or posting about your date in real-time. Nothing says “I’m not into this” like sneaking a selfie when they’re not looking!

7. DO Ask Questions

One surefire way to keep the conversation flowing is to ask your date thoughtful questions. Start with easy topics like hobbies, family, or travel plans to break the ice. As you get more comfortable, you can dive into deeper subjects. Avoid sensitive topics like exes or politics right off the bat; save those for when you know each other better.

Asking questions shows that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know the person, and it keeps the conversation balanced.

8. DO Offer to Pay

When the check comes, be prepared to offer to pay. Reaching for the check shows that you’re considerate and not expecting your date to foot the entire bill. If they insist on paying, offer to split or leave the tip. The important thing is to be gracious and not assume that they’ll cover everything.

9. DON’T Stalk Your Date Afterward

If you had a great time and want to follow up with a text, that’s perfectly fine! However, don’t start obsessively stalking their social media afterward—especially liking posts or photos from years ago. Accidentally liking an old Instagram photo, or worse, a picture of their ex, is an easy way to make things awkward.

Keep your follow-up simple and casual. A nice message the next day saying you enjoyed their company will go a long way.

10. DO Stay Positive

No matter what happens on the date—whether you had a bad day at work, the restaurant was disappointing, or the movie wasn’t great—try to stay positive. A good attitude will keep the energy up and make you more enjoyable to be around. Plus, staying optimistic will help your date feel more at ease and confident that they’re making a good impression, too.

Final Thoughts

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but they’re also a great opportunity to meet someone new and have fun. By following these do’s and don’ts, you’ll make a solid first impression and increase your chances of landing a second date with someone you genuinely connect with. Remember to stay true to yourself, keep things light, and most importantly—enjoy the experience!