How to Tell If the Person You’re Flirting With Is Falling in Love with You

Love is a universal language, but when it comes to recognizing the signs of someone falling for you, things can get a bit tricky. Flirting often involves subtle body language cues—such as a touch, a look, or a gesture—that people use to communicate interest. However, unless you’re tuned into these non-verbal signals, you might miss out on some important clues about whether the person you’re flirting with is starting to develop deeper feelings.

Body language expert Traci Brown explains that a large portion of our communication is non-verbal, meaning these silent signals often go unnoticed if we’re not paying close attention. In fact, a study from the University of Kansas found that less than 40 percent of men and 20 percent of women can accurately identify when someone is flirting with them. Given this low success rate, it’s no surprise that many people miss out on recognizing when someone is falling in love with them. To help decode the body language of love, here are the key signs that someone you’re flirting with may be developing feelings for you.

1. A Gentle Touch on the Arm

When someone makes physical contact, even in a light or casual way, it’s often a signal of growing affection. Whether it’s a soft tap or a longer, more deliberate touch, physical contact is a sign that the person wants to establish a deeper connection. Brown mentions that these touches are rarely accidental, and they often indicate that the person is interested in you on a more romantic level.

What to notice:

• Frequent, light touches on your arm or leg during conversation
• “Accidental” brushing of hands or shoulders
• Extended hugs or touches that linger

2. Frequent Smiling

While smiling can seem like a simple or automatic reaction, a warm, genuine smile can be a strong indicator that someone enjoys your company and is interested in you. A smile, especially one that lights up their face, is an inviting gesture that signals they’re happy to be around you.

What to notice:

• Smiling frequently throughout the conversation
• Smiles that seem natural and warm, rather than forced
• Smiles paired with eye contact and other positive body language

3. Consistent Eye Contact

Eye contact is one of the most telling signs when it comes to romantic interest. If someone is holding eye contact with you for extended periods, it can be a sign that they’re not only engaged in the conversation but also feeling a deeper connection. Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, can sometimes indicate discomfort or disinterest.

What to notice:

• Holding eye contact for a few seconds longer than normal
• Gazing into your eyes when you’re speaking
• Eye contact that feels intimate or meaningful

4. Leaning In During Conversations

When someone is physically drawn to you, they may subconsciously lean in while you’re talking, indicating that they want to be closer to you—both emotionally and physically. This behavior suggests that the person is fully engaged and wants to create a more intimate connection.

What to notice:

• Leaning in when speaking, especially during important or emotional moments
• Moving closer to you when sitting or standing
• Subtle body shifts that reduce the physical space between you

5. Open and Relaxed Body Language

The way someone holds themselves can speak volumes about how they feel. If the person you’re flirting with has an open, relaxed posture—such as uncrossed arms and legs—it indicates that they feel comfortable and open to deeper interaction. On the other hand, a closed or defensive posture, such as crossed arms, might signal discomfort or uncertainty.

What to notice:

• Open body language, such as arms uncrossed and relaxed shoulders
• A comfortable stance that mirrors your own movements
• Signs of relaxation, such as sitting back comfortably or leaning into the conversation

6. Sitting or Standing Close to You

Proximity is another key indicator of romantic interest. When someone constantly moves closer to you during a conversation or sits in close proximity without making you feel uncomfortable, it’s often a signal that they want to create a stronger connection. People naturally gravitate toward those they like, and this can manifest in the way they position themselves.

What to notice:

• Moving closer during conversation, whether sitting or standing
• Adjusting their position to be near you, even in a group setting
• Standing or sitting within your personal space without being intrusive

7. Self-Touching or Leg Touching

When people feel nervous or excited, they often touch themselves—such as smoothing their clothes or touching their legs. While this might be a sign of nervousness, it can also indicate that the person is self-soothing because they care about the interaction. More purposeful or sensual leg touching, however, can be a more overt sign of romantic or physical attraction.

What to notice:

• Touching their own leg while looking at you
• Adjusting clothing or hair while speaking to you
• Subtle, intentional touches to draw attention to their body

8. Hands on Hips

Standing with hands on hips can be a mixed signal, but in many cases, it’s a display of confidence. If your date adopts this posture while making eye contact and smiling, it’s likely they’re feeling confident and perhaps even playful. However, in some cases, it might signal a more defensive or confrontational stance, so be sure to gauge the context.

What to notice:

• Standing confidently with hands on hips
• Pairing this stance with relaxed, positive gestures like smiling
• Confidence without aggression—this can indicate ease and openness

9. Playful Lip Biting

Lip biting is a well-known sign of flirtation and interest. When someone lightly bites their lip while looking at you, it’s often a signal that they’re attracted to you. However, it can also be a sign of nervousness, so consider other body language cues before making any assumptions.

What to notice:

• Light lip biting while maintaining eye contact
• Paired with playful or flirtatious gestures like smiling or laughing
• Biting the lip followed by a shy or bashful smile

10. Active Listening and Engagement

When someone is falling for you, they won’t just listen passively—they’ll engage with what you’re saying, ask follow-up questions, and show genuine interest in getting to know you. This shows that they care about your thoughts and feelings and are invested in the conversation.

What to notice:

• Asking thoughtful questions about your life or interests
• Remembering details from previous conversations
• Actively participating in the discussion, showing empathy and understanding

11. Mirroring Your Behavior

People who feel connected tend to mirror each other’s behavior without realizing it. This means they may subconsciously mimic your gestures, posture, or speech patterns. Mirroring is a strong signal that someone feels aligned with you and is trying to establish rapport.

What to notice:

• Subtle imitation of your gestures or movements
• Matching your energy, whether you’re relaxed or animated
• Adopting a similar pace of conversation or tone of voice

Conclusion

Understanding the body language of love can help you determine if the person you’re flirting with is developing deeper feelings. From gentle touches to frequent smiles and consistent eye contact, these non-verbal cues offer important insights into their emotions. Keep in mind that these signals can vary from person to person, so always look at the overall context of your interactions before drawing conclusions.