The excitement and anticipation that come with starting a new relationship can be a rollercoaster of emotions. You might feel butterflies in your stomach, a sense of hope, and a bit of nervousness as you navigate this new connection. It’s thrilling, but it can also be overwhelming. You want to make sure everything goes smoothly, without overthinking things or causing unnecessary pressure. That’s why some good advice can go a long way to help you enjoy this phase and build a strong foundation.
“A new relationship is full of discovery—about your partner, yourself, and what you both want in a relationship,” explains dating expert Andrea Syrtash. Celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray adds, “This is a unique period, where many couples begin to fall in love. It’s a special time to create lasting memories.”
However, it’s easy to let new relationship jitters overshadow the fun. To help you fully embrace the early stages without unintentionally sabotaging things, we’ve gathered nine important pieces of love advice from these experts. Remember, dating should feel exciting, not like hard work.
1. Leave Your Past Where It Belongs
One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating someone new is bringing their emotional baggage from previous relationships into the present. “Avoid dumping all your fears and past relationship issues onto your new partner,” advises Ray. While it’s important to be open eventually, you don’t want to make your new relationship all about what went wrong before.
Focus on getting to know the person you’re dating, rather than rehashing past experiences. Keep the conversation light and forward-looking during those first few dates.
2. Avoid Comparing Your Relationship to Others
It’s natural to compare, but doing so can be harmful. “Stop comparing your current relationship to your ex or to other couples,” says Ray. Every relationship is different, and holding your new partner up to someone else’s standards can create unnecessary tension. Ask yourself: Are you in this relationship for the right reasons? Or are you seeking validation from others?
Stay focused on your current connection and let it develop organically, without looking for comparisons or competition.
3. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
When you’re in a new relationship, it’s important to pay attention to what your partner does, not just what they say. “It’s easy for someone to make big promises, but actions show their true intentions,” says Syrtash. For instance, if your partner talks about making future plans but is unreliable now, it’s the present behavior that matters most.
Look for consistency in their actions. Are they making an effort to spend time with you, introducing you to friends and family, and showing up when it counts? These are the signs that they’re serious about building something real.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Show Vulnerability
Being vulnerable is one of the scariest parts of dating, but it’s also key to building trust. “Opening up to someone and showing your true self can deepen your bond,” explains Ray. While it can feel risky, especially when you’re just getting to know someone, vulnerability fosters emotional connection.
Start small by sharing something personal that allows your partner to see beyond the surface. Over time, this openness can create a deeper and more meaningful connection.
5. Stay Humble, Don’t Brag
You may feel the urge to impress your new partner by talking about your accomplishments, but this can come off as arrogant. “Constantly boasting about yourself is a turnoff,” warns Ray. While confidence is attractive, overdoing it can make you seem self-centered.
There’s no need to sell yourself—just be authentic. Let your achievements come up naturally rather than trying to impress your partner with a list of accolades.
6. Enjoy the Moment
In a new relationship, it’s easy to get ahead of yourself and start thinking about the future. But Syrtash advises focusing on the present. “The early stages are about discovery and enjoying the moment, not rushing to define the future.”
Rather than worrying about where the relationship is going, take the time to enjoy getting to know each other. Stay present and let things unfold naturally.
7. Don’t Be Clingy or Overbearing
While it’s tempting to want to spend all your time with a new partner, being too clingy can push them away. “A little bit of jealousy can be healthy, but being overly needy is a red flag,” says Ray. Constantly checking in or demanding their time can overwhelm your partner and create unnecessary stress.
Maintain your independence and give each other space to grow. Allow the relationship to develop without trying to control every aspect of it.
8. Keep Up with Your Own Life
When you’re wrapped up in a new relationship, it’s common to let other aspects of your life—like hobbies or friendships—fall by the wayside. But Ray suggests keeping a balance. “Don’t give up your personal life to be with your partner all the time. Distance can create attraction.”
Honor your commitments, stay connected to your friends, and keep doing things you enjoy outside the relationship. This will not only keep you grounded, but also allow your partner to appreciate the time you spend together even more.
9. Be a Good Listener
Listening is a fundamental part of any relationship, yet it’s a skill many people struggle with. “When you truly listen to your partner, it shows that you value and respect them,” Ray explains. Paying attention to what they’re saying—without interrupting or thinking about your response—can strengthen your bond.
Ask open-ended questions, show curiosity about their life, and listen actively. This will help you understand your partner better and show them that their thoughts and feelings matter to you.