How to Decode Flirting Body Language

Flirting isn’t just about what we say—it’s largely about what we do. Our body language sends subtle signals that can reveal romantic interest long before words come into play. From gentle touches to lingering eye contact, these non-verbal cues speak volumes, but they can be difficult to decipher if you’re not paying attention.

According to body language expert Traci Brown, much of our communication is non-verbal, and these silent signals often go unnoticed unless you’re tuned in. Research even suggests that only a small percentage of people can accurately identify when someone is flirting. To help you get better at recognizing these cues, we’ve compiled a guide on the key body language gestures that suggest someone is interested in you.

1. Light Touch on the Arm

One of the clearest signs of flirting is physical touch. When someone casually touches your arm during a conversation, whether it’s a brief graze or a longer, more deliberate touch, it’s often a signal of interest. As Brown explains, people typically touch others when they feel a connection and want to deepen that bond. This is rarely an accident; it’s an intentional way to create closeness.

What to Notice:

• Brief, gentle touches on the arm, shoulder, or leg.
• Contact that lingers longer than expected, showing a desire for closeness.
• “Accidental” brushes that seem too frequent to be unintentional.

2. Warm, Genuine Smiling

A smile can say a lot, especially when it’s warm and genuine. A heartfelt smile is a universal sign of attraction, signaling that someone is happy to be around you and inviting further interaction. Smiling is one of the easiest ways to show that you’re enjoying someone’s company, and it often sparks an instant connection.

What to Notice:

• Genuine, natural smiles that involve the eyes, not just the mouth.
• Frequent smiles during the conversation, especially when making eye contact.
• A smile that makes you feel more comfortable and welcomed.

3. Holding Eye Contact

Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways to communicate romantic interest. If someone maintains steady eye contact with you, it shows they are fully engaged and potentially attracted to you. On the other hand, if they frequently look away or avoid your gaze, it might indicate disinterest or discomfort. As Brown notes, gazing into someone’s eyes is one of the oldest and most classic signs of attraction.

What to Notice:

• Prolonged eye contact that creates a sense of intimacy.
• A soft, focused gaze that suggests they are interested in what you’re saying.
• Breaking eye contact only occasionally, but naturally, without seeming distracted.

4. Leaning in Closer

When someone leans toward you during a conversation, it’s often a sign that they’re interested. Leaning in shows that they are fully engaged, not just with the conversation but also with you as a person. By closing the physical distance between you, they are signaling a desire for connection and attention.

What to Notice:

• Leaning in during conversations, especially when discussing something personal or meaningful.
• Moving their body closer to yours without making it uncomfortable.
• Mirroring your movements and subtly closing the gap between you.

5. Open and Relaxed Posture

Body language can reveal whether someone feels comfortable around you. A relaxed, open posture typically indicates that the person is at ease and open to deepening the connection. In contrast, crossed arms or tense posture may suggest discomfort or guardedness.

What to Notice:

• A relaxed, open stance with arms and legs uncrossed.
• Natural, comfortable movements, such as leaning back while maintaining eye contact.
• A posture that mirrors yours, which can indicate comfort and rapport.

6. Touching Their Own Leg

Touching their own leg during a conversation can also be a sign of attraction, though it’s more subtle. According to Brown, leg touching can indicate nervousness or excitement. If they are smoothing out their pants or lightly touching their leg while looking at you, they could be either nervous or interested. Pay attention to the context to determine which it is.

What to Notice:

• Light touches or smoothing of their clothes, especially if they seem slightly nervous.
• Purposeful leg touching paired with eye contact or a flirtatious smile.
• A combination of self-touching and other flirting gestures, such as leaning in or smiling.

7. Standing or Sitting Close to You

If someone chooses to stand or sit close to you, it’s often a sign they feel comfortable and interested. Proximity is a clear signal of attraction—people naturally want to be close to those they like. When someone moves closer to you in a social setting or leans in while seated, it’s a strong indicator that they’re engaged and want to connect on a deeper level.

What to Notice:

• A gradual reduction in personal space as the conversation progresses.
• Moving their chair closer to yours or standing near you even when there’s plenty of room.
• Closing the distance without making it uncomfortable, showing interest while respecting boundaries.

8. Hands on Hips

Standing with hands on hips can reveal confidence and assertiveness. This gesture may indicate that the person is feeling confident and perhaps even trying to impress you. While it can sometimes be seen as a power move, when paired with positive body language, it often signals that they are comfortable and ready to engage.

What to Notice:

• Hands placed on hips in a relaxed, confident stance.
• This gesture combined with a playful smile or relaxed posture.
• Be mindful of whether the gesture feels confident or intimidating—it can go either way depending on the situation.

9. Biting or Licking Lips

Lip biting is a classic flirting move. It’s a subtle but effective way to show attraction and can indicate that someone is thinking about getting closer to you. However, it’s important to interpret this gesture in context, as it can also suggest nervousness or concentration.

What to Notice:

• Light biting or licking of the lips while making eye contact.
• A playful or shy smile accompanying the gesture, signaling interest.
• Watch for other body language cues to determine if it’s flirtatious or a sign of nervousness.

Conclusion

Flirting through body language is often subtle but powerful. From a gentle touch on the arm to meaningful eye contact, these non-verbal cues can reveal whether someone is attracted to you. By paying attention to these signals—like leaning in, relaxed posture, or frequent smiles—you can better understand the person’s intentions and feel more confident in navigating romantic interactions.

Understanding body language can help you interpret interest and deepen your connections, so next time you’re on a date, keep an eye out for these telling gestures.