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We’ve all heard stories about that magical moment when two people lock eyes and immediately know they’ve found their soulmate. It sounds like something straight out of a romantic movie, but is love at first sight truly the foundation for a lasting relationship? Or is it just a fleeting spark of chemistry that fades over time?
To explore this phenomenon, we spoke with relationship counselors Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, Rachel Dubrow, Dr. Tania Paredes, and Sofia Robirosa. They weigh in on whether love at first sight can lead to a long-term, fulfilling relationship and what it actually takes to make a marriage last.
What Exactly Is Love at First Sight?
Rachel Dubrow, LCSW, describes love at first sight as a powerful, instant connection when two people meet. “It feels like everything else fades away, and there’s a sense that this person is someone special,” she says. “People often describe it as feeling like fireworks or an overwhelming rush of emotions.”
Dr. Tania Paredes, LCSW, explains that this instant attraction stems from strong physical chemistry. “It’s an intense, electrifying feeling, and many people compare it to being intoxicated by emotions,” she says. “You feel drawn to the other person in a way that’s hard to explain.”
For some, love at first sight is like spotting someone across a room and immediately feeling captivated by them. As Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, a licensed marriage and family therapist, notes, “It’s often based on a gut reaction to someone’s appearance, voice, and body language.” However, while this feeling can be exciting, it’s largely rooted in physical attraction rather than the deeper qualities needed for a lasting relationship.
Can Love at First Sight Turn Into a Long-Term Relationship?
While love at first sight can certainly spark a relationship, all four experts agree that this initial spark alone isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. “It can lead to a relationship, but the real work starts after that first connection,” Dubrow explains. “To build a lasting relationship, you need to get to know each other beyond that initial chemistry.”
O’Neill is cautious about relying too much on the concept of love at first sight. “It’s easy to confuse physical attraction with real love,” she says. “You might feel an instant connection, but that doesn’t guarantee compatibility in the long run.”
Dr. Paredes refers to this phenomenon as “Bachelor syndrome,” where people believe they’ve found their spouse the moment they meet. “While that initial spark can be a good sign, it’s not enough to keep a relationship strong. True love takes time, effort, and emotional investment.”
The Challenges of Building a Relationship on Instant Attraction
One of the major challenges with love at first sight is that it often emphasizes physical attraction, which can shift over time. As O’Neill points out, relationships built on intense physical connection can face difficulties when life throws curveballs. “As time passes, things like careers, family, and health can change the dynamics of your relationship. If your bond is solely based on that initial attraction, it may not hold up during tough times.”
Robirosa adds that it’s common for couples to experience a disconnect between the strong emotions they felt at the start and the realities of everyday life. “The spark of love at first sight can fade if you don’t have a solid emotional connection to fall back on. That’s why it’s important to focus on building trust and communication as the relationship progresses.”
How to Build a Lasting Relationship After Love at First Sight
If you’ve experienced love at first sight, the key to turning that spark into a long-term relationship is to take things slow and truly get to know your partner. “It’s exciting to feel an immediate connection,” Dubrow says, “but you need to make sure you’re compatible on deeper levels, like shared values, goals, and communication styles.”
One way to strengthen your bond is to explore different types of activities together. “Try going on a variety of dates—do something active, have meaningful conversations, and spend time in different environments,” Paredes suggests. “This will help you see if your connection is more than just physical chemistry.”
O’Neill also recommends discussing important topics early on. “Talk about your long-term plans, your approach to family, and your personal goals. These conversations are essential for determining if you’re truly aligned for a future together.”
Don’t Overestimate the Initial Chemistry
While that first spark might feel magical, it’s crucial to remember that it’s only one part of a successful relationship. O’Neill advises couples not to put too much weight on the initial excitement of love at first sight. “Physical attraction is important, but a lasting marriage requires much more—emotional connection, trust, and mutual respect. Those qualities take time to develop.”
Robirosa agrees, noting that couples often think the intensity of their initial connection will carry them through difficult times. “The truth is, love at first sight can create high expectations that are hard to meet. It’s essential to focus on building a partnership based on more than just that first attraction.”
Common Misconceptions About Love at First Sight
Our experts also addressed some common myths surrounding love at first sight. One of the biggest misconceptions is that it’s a sign of destiny. “People often think that feeling an instant connection means they’ve found ‘the one,’” says Robirosa. “But in reality, it’s a combination of physical attraction and a chemical reaction in your brain. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to be together.”
Another misconception is that love at first sight is always mutual. O’Neill has worked with couples where one partner believed they experienced love at first sight, while the other didn’t feel the same way. “It’s important to understand that love can grow at different rates for each person. Just because one partner felt that spark right away doesn’t mean the other did.”
Conclusion: Is Love at First Sight True Love?
The experts agree that while love at first sight can be a thrilling experience, it’s not necessarily true love. That instant connection is often rooted in physical attraction and chemistry, which are important but not enough to sustain a long-term relationship. For love to grow and evolve into a lasting partnership, couples need to invest time in getting to know each other, building trust, and creating a strong emotional foundation.
Ultimately, love at first sight can be the beginning of a meaningful relationship—but real love requires more than just an initial spark. By focusing on the deeper aspects of your connection, you can turn that moment of instant attraction into a relationship that stands the test of time.
